However, during the funeral, someone did become ill and passed out two rows in front of me. My brother, Rick and his wife, Linda were seated in front of the gentleman, and when Rick turned around, he said the man was not breathing and was starting to turn blue. 911 was quickly called, but thank God, the man came to on his own. It was definitely nerve-wracking for a few minutes. A new life behind me ... A possible ending two rows in front of me ... A definite ending a few rows even further.
Afterwards, the lunch was held at the Moose Lodge in Caseyville. I, however, was not aware of that because I was told a couple of days prior by someone (but I'm not mentioning Aunt Ruth's name because that wouldn't be nice), that the lunch was being held at the Caseyville Senior Center on Bunkum Road. Upon arriving at the senior center, I realized (quickly) I was in the wrong place because I had walked into a rockin' bingo tournament going on instead. Well, as "rockin'" as it could get (remember, these are seniors).
I'm not complaining because I won $20 and became the boy toy of one "Myrna Appleby". Myrna is a sweet ole gal who has brandished me with the nickname of "Young Stud". I don't think Myrna even knows my name. I feel like a piece of meat ... maybe a "prime rib", but a piece of meat nonetheless. I'm very impressed with Myrna because she has no need for glasses and has all of her own teeth ... well, except for that one.
Myrna asked me to go out with her next Saturday (hey, at least I'm attractive to someone!!) I told her "I sure would", because honestly, she looks like the type that has a disdain for banks, and therefore probably stashes a fortune under her mattress. I'm sure she'll pay for dinner. And if not, I'll pay because I suspect she won't eat much. If you don't see me around by next Sunday, call the police because that means I had Myrna pegged all wrong ... (haha)
A boy toy ... hmmm, maybe I've found my new calling.
6 comments:
TOOOOO Funny!!
That is really funny. I honestly don't think that only Senior Women find you attractive Ryan. :)
Earlier tonight, Jan (I forgot her last name) came up to me in the sound booth and told me that another senior lady at church "thinks you're such an attractive young man. She said that Ryan is just so nice!!" I responded by saying, "Jan, I think she needs to get her glasses checked." (Self-deprecating humor here.)
Maybe I should consider this whole boy-toy thing. It could become a sideline job. :-)
So that proves it ... I seem to appeal to senior women. Oh, and last week this one guy at my work winked at me and told me I was cute. So, senior women and my co-worker ... that's about it!! (haha)
That made me laugh out loud so loud that Forrest looked at me all crazy.
-Beth Hurst
Ryan - You are HILARIOUS! I love it!!! This is Chicken-Soup for sick and demented ppl. I guess that's why I'm moved to tears...lol.
Ryan,
You are such an awesome guy. I'm sure God has someone for you. I'll be praying for you, Brother!!!
Love you much,
Jo.
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