Dear Diary ...

Dear Diary,

I'm not 100% sure that I have many readers on this blog. I had a few comments left on here when I first started this, but so far no one has commented on anything in a long time. So that kind of tells me that maybe no one is reading this. So, I'll let you in on a little secret ... I've lost 7 pounds!! I'm really, really trying to lose some of this weight.

I've been told I have the patience of Job, and I can put up with a lot. But when I'm sick of something, that's pretty much it. I'm done. I know this isn't healthy and frankly, I'm tired of the jiggling. I jiggle most of the time. Even when I try to suck in my stomach, I still jiggle. It may not be noticeable, but I can feel it. I jiggle to the left, I jiggle to the right. I look around church and I see people losing weight, but I sure don't seem to be one of them.

I saw a picture of me the other day when I was about 45 pounds lighter. Now granted, that was at the time when my mom died, so I think a lot of that was due to all the stress and not eating. But honestly, I was kinda hot (or as hot as I can get ... OK, I was lukewarm). :-) But anyway, I felt a lot better about myself then. I've noticed that through the years ... one burrito at a time ... this "food thing" has seemed to slowly take control of me. But that doesn't include the Twinkie Delight Masterpiece I created for a work party we had today. Calories don't count when it's a party at work. That's a known fact.

I have rippling abs, but mine ripple for a completely different reason. I can joke about it, but on the inside, it bothers me. It's not like me to just simply hand over control of my health to Combo Meal #412.

My brother said something to me the other day. I think that he thinks I don't listen to him, but I do. He said, "You have to make a decision whether or not your health is more important than that food item you have in your hand." And he's right. But I do have to draw the line somewhere ... I derive extreme pleasure from the Cashew Nut Chicken and Summer Rolls (2 1/2 stars with no green peppers) at Thip's Thai Restaurant, and their food IS more important than my health!! :-) Besides, I only eat there like every three weeks, so cut me some slack, OK?

I've been to the YMCA and I've attempted to Zumba. I've looked up the origin of the word "Zumba". It literally means torture from the 72nd layer of Hell. Plus, I have no rhythm when it comes to dancing. I thought I did. I thought wrong. Thank the Lord I was on the back row when I attempted this. I noticed the weight room is next to the Zumba room. I might try that. I need to find something I am comfortable with.

We have a gym at work that literally is up one flight of steps and down a small hall. I have been there. It's a very nice gym. But I did have an unexpectedly adverse reaction to seeing my co-workers parade around in the locker room in their underwear. I didn't think that would bother me, but it kind of did. I work with these people. I like these people ... a lot. But that does not mean I want to see them in their bright purple bikini briefs (yes, one actually had on bright ... purple ... bikini ... briefs. Honestly, they were more like lavender, which makes the whole thing even worse. I've never looked at him the same way again.) I would rather exercise with people I don't know. Call me odd, but odd's not a bad thing. It's OK.

So, as I look down at the rippling paradise that are my abs, I'm audibly saying to them, "You're outta here!!" That's kind of liberating. And it's not like I have to lose a whole lot. 50 pounds should do it. The guy on the infomercial this morning did it. Why can't I??

So Diary, I will make you a pledge ... the day that I am less than 200 pounds is the day I will do a cartwheel. I've never done a cartwheel in my life. Just the thought of that makes me laugh.

So that's it. My weight-loss journey kicked into high-gear a couple of weeks ago and will be continuing for a while. And Diary, I'll tell you something else, but don't tell anyone, OK?? The women at my church are my inspiration. They've done so much work for a while now and it really shows. I'm very proud of them. Maybe someday I can be as good as them. We'll see ...

Thanks Diary ... you're a good listener!! I have to go ... I have some mandarin oranges to inhale!!

Ryan